Singapore Airlines Says NO SEX on Its Airborne Double Bed

Steve Bleach

Singapore Airlines' puts out 'no sex' rules for the double bed suites. The A380 may have the world's first airborne double bed, but it won't be put to the obvious use if Singapore Airlines has its way: "If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist," said the company's Stephen Forshaw.

"There are things that are acceptable on an aircraft and things that aren't, and the rules for behaviour in our double beds are the same ones that apply throughout the aircraft."

In any case, the plane is as yet unchristened: Tony and Julie Elwood from Perth, Australia had booked the first A380 double suite, but hardly had a moment of privacy for a romantic kiss, let alone anything raunchier, as a parade of journalists came knocking on their door.

Even so, they weren't too impressed with Singapore's strait-laced attitude. "So they'll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne - and then say you can't do what comes naturally?" asked Tony, a vigorous 76. "Seems a bit strange."

"They seem to have done everything they can to make it romantic, short of bringing round oysters," said Julie, 51. "I'd say they shouldn't really complain, should they?

"Though I don't think they'll have anything to worry about from us - the flight is so busy with people coming to see the suites, we wouldn't have the opportunity."

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Airplane Taking A Shit During Flight

Passengers who endured a two-day trans-Atlantic odyssey with sewage overflowing from a jet's lavatories are getting an apology from Continental Airlines for the "poor conditions."
Flight 71, with 168 customers on board, took off June 13 from Amsterdam bound for Newark, N.J., but only got as far as Shannon, Ireland, because of a problem with the lavatory.
The flight resumed the next day after repair work seemed to restore smooth flow in the lavatory system, a Continental spokesman said Thursday. But during the flight from Shannon to Newark, renamed Flight 1970, "the problem developed again," spokesman Dave Messing said.
When the plane landed in Newark, he said, it was determined that the blockage was caused by someone flushing latex gloves down the toilet.
There are signs above the toilet that warn against flushing foreign objects.
"Occasionally these instructions are overlooked," he said.
A passenger told Seattle television station KING that sewage flowed into the aisles, only one restroom was partially working, and flight attendants kept serving meals but told passengers not to eat much. He called it the worst flight of his life.
"I was forced to sit next to human excrement for seven hours ... it's a nauseating smell," Collin Brock said.
Messing, the spokesman for Houston-based Continental Airlines Inc., said in a statement, "We deeply regret the serious inconvenience to our customers and are apologizing to them and compensating them for the poor conditions on the flight as well as the diversion and delay."
Messing said Continental is compensating passengers with travel vouchers, but he declined to say how much.
A passenger has said he was offered a $500 voucher.

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Nigeria Escapes Another Air Disaster

Following the poor condition of its aviation industry, Nigeria barely escaped another air disaster yesterday.
Two passengers were seriously injured when Virgin Nigeria aircraft made a flight return at the Murtala Muhammed Airport Lagos after the pilot of the airplane, with registration number 5N-VND, which was on its way to Kano enroute Abuja noticed that the aircraft developed hydraulic problem. The incident happened at about 5.00 pm yesterday.
As the pilot taxied back through the runway 18 Right of the international wing of the airport, the passengers saw an on-coming aircraft and panicked and stampede ensued which led to the sustaining of injuries by many of the passengers.
A source who spoke to journalists said that the injuries sustained by some of the passemgers were purely out of fear and stampede and in the process of escaping from what they feared was impending mishap.
The injured passengers were rushed to the hospital within the airport by ambulance owned by the Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria[FAAN].
Among those seriously injured was one Chief Ahmed Onibudo and another man from nothern Nigeria whose name could not be ascertained. All efforts made to get the relevant authorities to speak on the matter failed as no one was willing to talk.
In another development, Aviation experts from aircraft manufacturing firm, Boeing, has urged Nigerian airline operators to ensure that their pilots avoid the wind shear phenomenon wherever possible, because it is a major source of air crashes in the industry.
Speaking during a two-day workshop on flight operations organised by Boeing, in conjunction with the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA), the experts said if the rules were adhered to, occurrences of wind shear cases would significantly be reduced.
Wind shear is a sudden change in wind speed and direction, which has resulted in many accidents world wide.
Accident investigators into the Sosoliso plane crash of December 10, 2005, which occurred in Port-Harcourt, killing many school children among over 100 victims, attributed the accident to wind shear among other reasons.
Captain Mike Taylor, one of the Boeing experts, said the only sure way of surviving wind shear was to avoid it. Taylor said pilots should endeavor to avoid the phenomenon once it was potential in some areas as indicated by pre-flight weather reports, adding that delays of such flights were preferable.
He said where pilots ran into winds shear, they needed to take quick decisions within a matter of seconds, which would determine whether it would survive or not.

Another expert, Captain Gary Hudson, also admonished pilots to consider go-rounds whenever they noticed problems at the point of landing, as such decisions could end up saving many lives.
Captain David Campbell, another of the experts, admonished pilots on how to handle landing on wet and slippery runways with minimal risk.

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